Is Old Relationship Trauma Keeping You From Attracting the Love You Desire?

Why are you attracting the same toxic patterns in your relationships? How can you heal from unresolved pain that’s keeping you from attracting what you truly desire?

We all go through pain in relationships. We’ve all dealt with unhealthy patterns longer than needed and stuck with partners longer than we should’ve. But it’s often what we haven’t shined a light on within ourselves that’s causing us to attract the very things we do not want. In this post, I explain why that is and how to heal from old self-limiting, self-induced love conditioning.


When we think we feel love in a relationship, and that relationship also contains elements of toxicity, we tend to associate aspects of that imbalance with love itself, and unconsciously expect or seek it to be a part of future relationships.

These fears may also develop as a result of what we endured or what was lacking from previous flings. For example, if you never had a specific love interest fully commit to you, you may have either an underlying fear of commitment (associating the idea of non-commitment and love together) or abandonment (feeling so close and having it slip from your fingers). If you were cheated on, you may have developed pervasive mistrust or a tendency to make unhealthy assumptions about future relationships. These subconscious beliefs around love all shape our perception of what love must actually be like.

These kinds of imbalances tend to inhibit your ability to attract what you truly desire, instead giving you exactly what you fear most in future flings and thus reiterating that same toxic vibration back to you — only serving to enhance the strength of that expectation. It’s not long before the unhealthy behavior becomes a requirement. Then, we become dependent on that negative element. We begin to seek the inverse of what we once thought we wanted because our pain body has not healed and is feeding off of the negativity. This is exactly why people see recurring toxic patterns from relationship to relationship which often intensify the longer they go on.

We — our unhealed pain bodies, to be more specific — can become so accustomed to elements of toxicity in relationship that we begin to believe we can do no better or even that ‘it’, whatever it is, is normal. Eventually, and gone unchecked, our vibrational signature becomes altered and we attract strictly the inverse of what we once desired. On a certain level, we feel we need — we crave — that emotional carcinogen, just like a bad but addictive drug we can not quit.

Once you recognize the existence of a non-beneficial belief, recurring pattern or toxic relationship, the next step is to examine it — then to analyze how and why you felt the underlying pain, fear, or lack of self confidence.

If you find yourself constantly attracting the same negative qualities in a partner, you can determine the imbalance within yourself most closely reflective of that commonality and ask why you may be attracted to it or what kind of perverted benefit it may offer the ego.

To heal these fears, we must work backwards, recognizing where the fear stems from, why it emerged, and how we became attached to it over time. We can then start asking questions about the legitimacy or benefit of the fear which will almost always reveal that it is unfounded.

At this point, it’s most valuable to adopt a new perspective — that we may have never truly know what love was with a given person, or that perhaps each partner will offer a slightly different version of love based on what our soul needed to learn at the time.


When we can accept the truth of what we endured, how we felt and why, we can then release our etheric cords with love — not cut them in rebellion.

Learn from the wisdom that each relationship offered you. Feel through the emotions they trigger. Release the cords naturally, so they never return and so you don’t retain residual energetic injuries that made you create or attract the cord in the first place. 

When we commit to understanding and self-love on this dramatic level, we free ourselves in love so future relationships can be without drama.

All drama and unloving action between people takes place only where there are unhealed aspects of self or an old cord in place. Whatever emotional injury you are carrying that made you attract the individual you are now seeking to cut ties with is still in you if you have not released it. Until you release it, when you cut cords with one person (who may be misusing your connection), you will attract someone else who does the same thing. You will go through the usual ‘honeymoon’ period of positive interactions only to be brutally let down again.

Your cord is your gift – a constant feedback mechanism offering the knowledge of self you need to heal yourself and improve your attractions for good.

Metaphysically, it’s not the person we’re truly ‘attached’ to; it’s the EMOTIVE EXPERIENCE which filled the ‘hole’ in our energy field — a hole that their energy could fill. This is why true love ‘needs nothing’ — both parties’ consciousness is complete and contains next to no holes or imbalances.

When you don’t heed the messages that the universe is sending you through the attractions you receive — when you ignore those messages, pushing them away — the law of attraction simply ramps up the intensity of the attractions until you pay attention.


What we attract is a reflection of what’s within — of the vibration we are — and of the subconscious and even subliminal signals we’re sending out through our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, emotions, body language, words, actions, unhealed pain body, and more. Yin and yang, yin and yang.

If there’s a frequency match with another, then relationships have a better chance to be healthy. If there’s not a match, then there’s a frequency issue. The healthiest relationships help you uncover a deeper sense of self-love that ever because they reflect knowledge, love, and egoless compassion back to you since your partner is mature, complete and already whole in-and-of-themselves. When they need nothing, and you need nothing — except effortless presence in enjoying one another’s company — you will be able to create more loving, lasting co-creative romantic energy exchanges.

∞ 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦. 𝘚𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘺. 𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺. ∞

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💰 ᴊᴏɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴋᴀɴɢᴇɴ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ & ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀᴛ ʀᴀᴄᴇ 🚰
💯 ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴡ/ ᴍᴇ 1:1 & ᴜɴᴅᴇʀɢᴏ ᴀ ᴍᴀssɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇᴛᴀᴍᴏʀᴘʜᴏsɪs
🔮ᴘʀᴇʀᴇɢɪsᴛᴇʀ ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ, ᴄᴏɴsᴄɪᴏᴜs ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴏʀsʜɪᴘ ᴀᴄᴀᴅᴇᴍʏ
📅 sᴄʜᴇᴅᴜʟᴇ 1:1 ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴄᴏᴀᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴏʀ ᴋᴀɴɢᴇɴ!
🙏🏻sʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴡ/ ᴀ ᴅᴏɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ
👉 ɴᴇᴡᴇsᴛ ᴀʀᴛɪᴄʟᴇꜱ ⇾
ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴜɴʟᴏᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴏᴜʟ ᴘᴜʀᴘᴏsᴇ: ᴜʟᴛɪᴍᴀᴛᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɢᴜɪᴅᴇ
ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇ ᴄᴏɴsᴄɪᴏᴜs ᴡᴇᴀʟᴛʜ
ᴍᴀxɪᴍɪᴢᴇ ʟɪꜰᴇᴛɪᴍᴇ ʀᴇꜱɪᴅᴜᴀʟ ɪɴᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙʏ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋᴀɴɢᴇɴ ʙᴜꜱɪɴᴇꜱꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ Qᴜᴀᴅ
📸 ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛ: @life_coach_michael · @new_earth_knowledge · email

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